เพลง The Kids

Mr Mackey （Eric Cartman）

And everyone should get along

Okay children quiet down quiet down

Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day

His name is Mr Shady

Children quiet down please

Brian don't throw that （SHUT UP ）

Mr Shady will be your new substitute

While Mr Kaniff is out with pneumonia （HE'S GOT AIDS ）

Good luck Mr Shady

Eminem

Hi there little boys and girls （F**K YOU ）

Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels

But first I'd like you to meet my friend Bob （Huh ）

Say hi Bob （"Hi Bob"） Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom

And he don't got a job cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot

But his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot

And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot

And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock

When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog

Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks （AHH ）

And even if they escaped and they got the cops

The ladies would all be so afraid they would drop the charge

'Til one night Mrs Stacey went off the job

When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk

But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off

But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker

Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka

You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr "

He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her

And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her

But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander

They never found her and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner

And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana

And what it might do to you

So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you

Chorus: Mr Mackey （Eminem）

See children drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）

And if you don't believe me ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）

And if you don't believe him ask ya mom （that's right）

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）

So kids say no to drugs （that's right）

So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）

Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）

Drugs are just bad mmm'kay

Eminem

My penis is the size of a peanut have you seen it

F**K NO you ain't seen it it's the size of a peanut （Huh ）

Speakin of peanuts you know what else is bad for squirrels

Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world

If someone ever offers it to you don't do it

Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid

And spinal fluid is final you won't get it back

So don't get attached it'll attack every bone in your back

Meet Zach twenty-one years old

After hangin out with some friends at a frat party he gets bold

And decides to try five when he's bribed by five guys

And peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it

Suddenly he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive

And his eyes roll back in his skull blblblblblb

His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches

He's on Donald's carpet layin horizontal barfin BLEH

And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him

"Hey Adam Zach is a jackass look at him "

Cause they took it too so they think it's funny

So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money

Meanwhile Zach's in a coma the action is over

And his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga

And that's the story of Zach the ecstasy maniac

So don't even feed that to squirrels class cause it's bad for you

Chorus: Mr Mackey （Eminem）

See children drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）

And if you don't believe me ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）

And if you don't believe him ask ya mom （that's right）

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）

So kids say no to drugs （that's right）

So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）

Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）

Drugs are just bad mmm'kay

Eminem

And last but not least one of the most humungous

Problems among young people today is fungus

It grows from cow manure they pick it out wipe it off

Bag it up and you put it right in your mouth and chew it

Yum yum Then you start to see some dumb stuff

And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em

And sometimes you see things that aren't there （Like what ）

Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair

（Mr Shady what's a G-string ） It's yarn Claire

Women stick 'em up their behinds go out and wear 'em （Huh ）

And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms

Whoops did I say magic mushrooms

I meant fungus Ya tongue gets all swoll up like a cow's tongue （How come ）

Cause it comes from a cow's dung （Gross ）

See drugs are bad it's a common fact

But your mom and dad know that's all that I'm good at （Oh ）

But don't be me cause if you grow up and you go and O D

They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee

And get a disguise and hide cause it'll be my fault

So don't do drugs and do exactly as I don't

Cause I'm bad for you

Chorus: Mr Mackey （Eminem）

See children drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）

And if you don't believe me ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）

And if you don't believe him ask ya mom （that's right）

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）

So kids say no to drugs （that's right）

So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）

Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）

Drugs are just bad mmm'kay

Mr Mackey （Eric Cartman）

Come on children clap along （SHUT UP ）

Sing along children （Suck my motherf**kin dick ）

Drugs are just bad drugs are just bad （South Park is gonna sue me ）

So don't do drugs （Suck my motherf**kin penis ）

So there'll be more for me （Hippie God damnit ）

（So f**ked up right now ）